It's getting harder everyday. I thought I was doing fine this whole time. The negativity inside of me is somehow changing me to a new person. I wish you knew how struggle I am to actually live with this weight on my chest. It's suffocating. It really is. And I hate it.
Humans, will forget. It's their nature. It's just a matter of time. And I don't think I have that much time to spare, to actually have the effort or maybe... it's just me who doesn't want to forget. Time will pass on so fast that he'll eventually forgets everything that we used to share together. He might even forget all about it by now. I understand...
Seeing you two together is like throwing salt to my wounds. My unhealed wounds. I have so many other options to choose. But I choose to suffer, to bruise myself. And I must say that I have made the wrong choice. Chin up, Yanie. Sampai bila ?
I need to have that positive vibes back. Remember when you prayed and asked God to actually show you if he's the one ? Your prayer has been answered, Yanie. He's not the one. It's all about the effort and sacrifice one has to make for their loved ones and I really need to plant it in my head that if someone wants to be part of my life, they'll make effort and not lame excuses he 's been giving you all this while. He showed you, Yanie. Be thankful.
After all, "Happy Ever After" that was potrayed in disney movies will not always happen in real life. It may not be what you expect it to be. God has better plans for you. You'll find the right one, Yanie. You will.
Awak, Happy 21st Birthday